EDITORIAL: I wish there were two of me--Arianna Huffington

At times like this I wish there were two of me. Of course, such a feat would be only to provide the best and most thorough of coverage to my dear readers, as I feel an enormous responsibility to the American people that they should know exactly what's going on. (It is nigh impossible to run back and forth between the HELP and Armed Services hearings!)

At the same time, wouldn't having two of me be wonderful? Someone to know my deepest thoughts, someone who could wear my suits, letting me know which one makes me look nothing less than the stately Greek divorcee that I am. I mean, who wouldn't benefit from another person such as I, existing in this world?

Of course, since the Republicans refuse to consider the most basic of things like supporting stem cell research, they will have to know a world in which there is only one me. Pity, since everything I do is for the American people.

EDITORIAL! Democrats: A New Sexy Hope--Arianna Huffington

Today I had the rare opportunity to sit down with the entire Democratic Senate caucus. Although I certainly had a hard time remembering the names of everyone, it was wonderful to once again be among old friends.

My dear friend and former co-host Sen. Al Franken and I reconnected, as he awkwardly hugged me and tried to remember how exactly we knew each other. Of course, I reminded him that he was the person who convinced me that the real agenda behind Gingrich's Contract with America was not to effect real change, but would have killed the middle class. Can you believe that I used to write for National Review? I was extremely silly back then!

I truly believe that this democratic caucus will be different from years past. Perhaps it's the sudden glamour and sexiness that the Democratic caucus has suddenly assumed this year. (Wherever did sexy go, in years past?) More than that, however, I believe that this caucus has the cojones to finally effect real change in America. I was having lunch the other day with former Secretary of State Madeline Albright and Chuck from Gossip Girl, and they both agreed with me that in these troubled times, it takes true vision and smart government to begin to make a difference.

I will be bringing complete coverage of the brave efforts of this caucus throughout the week, as well as commentary from extremely notable sources.